My first...

This is my first blog...please be patient with me...

I have been trying to figure out who I am. I am 36 years old and am currently a junior in college. I went back to school in 2003 to get my degree in office management. I am excited. It took me forever to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I now know that I would love to be an executive assistant or some secretarial position along those lines.

I took a philosophy class this past summer and loved it. It was Asian (Eastern) philosophy. I learned a lot in that class. I learned that things are the way they are. It doesn't matter where your journey leads you, it only matters that you are on your journey and where you are at this moment. I struggle with that. I want to know what it going on at all times. When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is figure out what I'm going to do for the remainder of that day. I really need to stop that. It doesn't matter what I do. It only matters that I do.

I learned in that class that people learn through their experiences. It doesn't matter how they experience things. Like kids for example..they don't have to know to sit in a chair. They enjoy standing in chairs. They are experiencing the chair in their own way. Instead of telling a child to sit down, we need to tell them to be careful. They will soon learn that a chair is for sitting, but why take away their natural curiosity? Why tell them they have to experience things the way we experience them? Why can't we just let children be children and realize that they will do things a different way until the world puts its stamp on them? Do we have to make children conform to the adult world before they are adults? Don't we want them to be their own individual with thoughts and experiences unique to them?

I also learned in that class that the only person I need to impress is myself. I don't need to worry about what other people think about me. I do not need to live up to anyone else's expectations. I tend to put high expectations on myself because I think that is what others expect. I am finding out that the person that has expectations of me is myself.

I wrote some thoughts down while I was taking this class and may end up posting those here and add the dates that I actually wrote them. I think they may help not only myself but others that are searching for something more as well.