Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Plans Demolished

After all this time, I should know NEVER to get my hopes up because they ALWAYS come crashing down around me. Always, yet…I never learn. I must be the stupidest person EVER. ON. THE. PLANET! I NEVER learn this lesson about getting my hopes up.

Ireland is now a thing of the past. Yes, you read that correctly! I am no longer going to Ireland in October. My boss (BB) gave H the time he needed to change his mind and no longer feel as though we could afford the trip. She had my vacation request since April 9! As of Monday (when I let the office know that I am no longer going to Ireland), she still had not signed it.

I found out today from a co-worker that she had been planning on me taking the trip and wanted me to spend it as a vacation with my husband instead of working the trip (since the trip is being put together by my office, one of us may have to go and work the event and answer any questions or solve any problems that may come up while there). Strange how she can let the office know that she approves of my going to Ireland as a vacation, but she can’t tell me so I can pay the deposit and get the ball rolling. It's MY damn vacation. I should have been the FIRST person to know it was approved.

H is kind of frustrated with me right now because I’m bitching about BB and completely sad and demolished because the trip is now off the books. I’m soooo frickin’ frustrated right now. I really can’t even go into this anymore right now because I’ve got tears springing into my eyes.

I’m so tired of getting my hopes up for them to be dashed on the bits. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you’re thinking so I’m prepared when you change your mind. With H, deep down I always know there’s a chance he’ll change his mind; but I was really unprepared for it this time. I thought he was looking at this as a “once in a lifetime” trip just as I was.

Happy Frickin' Hump Day!
Until later...

Monday, April 28, 2008

'Bout Damn Time

I have been so freakin' busy the past few weeks, I haven't had a chance to to breathe let alone update all of you on my life. I should be grocery shopping right now, but H and I are both tired from all the running around, so we are giving in to our laziness. Just thought you'd like to know. :-)

I got home from work today to find that our lawn had been mowed. I called H right away asking if he mowed the lawn last night and I was just tired enough to not realize it. He didn't - good thing, 'cause I don't how tired I really would have been to have missed THAT. The first thing that popped into my head was that our "association" took it upon themselves to cut our front yard and charge us $100 dollars for it. First of all, our front yard didn't look THAT bad. It has looked MUCH worse and we have gotten a letter to mow it. We didn't receive a letter this time. It's kind of strange. It seems that after all the care we took into over-seeding our lawn to keep the weeds away, we now have nothing BUT weeds. We have little sprigs of grass here and there, but the majority is seriously now weeds. The weeds themselves are strange. These aren't the weeds that grow real tall. These weeds have yellow flowers on the top and grow close to the ground.

I saw our next door neighbor out mowing his lawn. He's retired, and he's lived next door to us since day one. We actually moved into our house before they moved into theirs. While he was riding around on his mower, I went up to him and asked if he mowed our lawn. He said that he didn't. The neighbors on the other side of us did. He said the lady thought we hadn't mowed our lawn because there was something wrong with our mower. I called H and told him the NEW neighbor (been there less than 3 months) mowed our lawn because they thought something was wrong with our mower. I told him, "there IS something wrong with our mower." He's LAZY!!! hahaha - seriously, I did.

Guess what? Because my BB took soooo long to sign my vacation request for Ireland, H has decided that we shouldn't go to Ireland. Damn it! I knew that would happen. Damn her for taking over 3 weeks to sign off on MY time. Biatch!! Two of the ladies that I work with (EA and MB) were pissed off as well. They couldn't believe that 1) she STILL hadn't signed the damn request and 2) she had the NERVE to look at me and say "I'm so sorry" as though it wasn't her fault that I will not be going to Ireland. Grant it, I knew that if H had enough time, he would talk himself out of the trip. He always does that whether we can afford it or not, but if I had already been approved, I would have paid our deposit on the trip and H wouldn't have changed his mind. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!

Until later...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Happy Hump Day!!!

WooHoo! I got it RIGHT on the RIGHT day. Count your blessings, it doesn't happen very often. :-)

I'm not going to post a big post tonight. I'm completely worn out. Today was a HUGE day at the office. We had a fundraiser luncheon today that kept me busy all damn day. I had 50 emails in my inbox. I now have those down to 17. Finally!!

Nevis, everyone I've seen that others have done have also gotten golden retriever. I think the quiz is rigged - seriously!

Trudi, I think it's funny that you think the Preds fans are better than the Red Wings. I work with a guy who HATES the Preds fans. He says that we don't know the game (which is correct, we're learning as we go along here). He hates that what the crowd chants the most is that everyone besides the Preds "suck!". I think it's absolutely hillarious! I love that the crowd gets into the game. He calls us a bunch of rednecks, but that's what I love about the fans at the game. It's a LOT of fun. I love that our fans can be heard during the game. It's amazing to be there and here it all in person.

By the way, of course I'm cool - I'm a California girl at heart (and I have all of you as my friends - which makes me the coolest EVER!!). :-)

Have a great night. I'm done for now. I'm tired as hell! Until later...


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Another Blog Quiz

What dog breed are you? I'm a Golden Retriever! Find out at

You know I love these things and I've felt as though I've neglected you the past few days.

I have quite a bit to tell y'all, but just don't have the time right now. Let me preface a later post by letting you know that we were able to go to GAME 6 (Predators vs. Red Wings) and I was surrounded by Tennessee Titans. WooHoo! I'll have a list of their names and tell you about our conversations later. Just thought you'd like to know I'm pretty cool - okay, you know that's not true, but at least I carried on conversations with some cool people. That has to count for something.

Until later...


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Damn me for being so nice! Kidding!

Because I "leave the nicest comments" over at I'm in the Gutter (AKA - I'm Being Held Hostage), I got tagged for a meme. Like I mind doing a meme. Come on, Folks! I live for these things! I don't have to think about them and I get to share a little about myself to all my blogosphere buddies. Gotta say, though, that I don't think I leave the nicest comments, but I'm glad YOU think I do. Some days, I can be downright snarky. I guess I hide it well. HA!

Anyway, on to the meme:

1. My perfect food: I'll come back to this one. I really don't know. I don't really have a favorite food per se. I'll come back to this. So, I have now answered all these questions and am back to this one. I still don't know what my favorite food is. I love Mexican (but have really been getting out of it since eating healthier - I just taste the grease now and not much else). I love Olive Garden, but it just no longer seems worth the points. Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream is ALWAYS top of my list and right now Bellacino's nachos (without onions) are right up there, too. We've found a bakery close by (son of a BIATCH! - don't they know I'm trying to LOSE weight not gain it all back?) and I've found quite a few little things there that I like. Wedding Cookies will also always be one of my favorites. My mom calls them Sandies. Whatever. I have to buy them every year around Christmas because that was the time of year my mom always made them. I also LOVE my mom's TACOS. We're going to visit them at the end of May and I've already made my request for those tacos. :-)

**So, short list of favorite foods if you prefer to skip the above paragraph: Breyer's Mint Chocolate chip, Bellacino's nachos, Wedding Cookies (instead of walnut flavoring, add real walnuts), and Mom's Tacos.

2. Favorite Colors: I have soooo many - purple, blue, black (for clothing), chocolate brown, green, red. You get the picture.

3. Hair - I'm not quite sure what this is asking me. I have some. I like my current style even though I'll be damned if I can fix it the way the hairdresser did. I liked her way best but can't seem to duplicate it myself. Mother F$@#%^$!

4. DVD I recently saw - P.S. I Love You. Wait, I think that was actually downloaded from the Internet by a friend with the title "P.S. I Heart Not U" - don't tell. By the way, I LOVE the P.S. I Heart Not U. H and I say that to each other every now and then. He liked it, too. GREAT movie! Actually, we were just starting this movie when we were called last Friday to the hospital for K2 and finally watched it Tuesday night.

5. Guilty Pleasure TV - isn't it all, really? Days of Our Lives, Survivor, Big Brother, Amazing Race, New Amsterdam, How I Met Your Mother, and NASCAR Cup Series Racing. Those are about all the shows I watch now.

6. If I were a Tree - I would be a weeping willow. Seriously! I love those trees. They seem so majestic to me and completely convey my depression on days when I'm feeling low. They have always been my favorite tree. Sometimes I think they are completely misunderstood and I feel that way at times, too. Weeping Willows freak H out for some reason, so I don't think I'll ever be able to plant one in our yard, but I sure would like to.

Now on to the suckers, I mean buddies I'm going to tag for this. You know what, just leave me a message that you did it and I'll check out your answers. That means I'm tagging EVERYONE that READS THIS BLOG!! That MEANS YOU!!! :-) Until later...



Okay, so I know it's been a while since I have blogged anything. Sorry! I haven't been neglecting you for SparkPeople, I swear! I've been neglecting that journal, too. I've just been so damned tired since last Friday night. We had a busy week, so that hasn't helped anything.

On to the update:
We went to see K and K2 last Saturday. K2 was doing very well. She was crawling around and smiling, so I felt much better.

Sunday, we picked up K and took him to Opry Mills Mall. He wanted to putt/putt at the glow in the dark place they have there. Afterwards, we walked around a bit. We took him to the Stingray exhibit and he had a blast looking at the stingrays and the different fish they had there.

Monday, I got an email from H that he had tickets to the Predator Playoff Game that night. How could I turn down free playoff tickets? I couldn't, so we went. Come to find out, the owner of the company bought 100 tickets for the employees. WooHoo! The owner and his brother are two of the five local businessmen that now own the Predators. I have told H that he could tell them he'll take his raise in Predator tickets and I would be a happy camper. LOL. Seriously, I did!

The game was GREAT! Lots of noise, lots of comraderie. It was fantastic! I think it was the best game I have ever attended. Near the end of the second period (we were tied 2-2), everyone was on their feet. There was so much noise from the crowd pumping up the team, that they stopped play for at least 2 minutes then gave up and started the match again because they realized we were not stopping any time soon. The vibe was just awesome.

At this point, I still have not caught up on any sleep since the hospital run on Friday. I'm tired as hell and unable to sleep through the night. The score was 3-2 right after the beginning of the third period. The score remained at 3-2 almost the entire third period. At five minutes left in game play, I told H I was ready to go home and go to bed. No sooner had we walked out of the Sommet Center did we hear the buzzer go off letting us know the Preds had scored. Nine (9) seconds after that, we scored AGAIN! The score is now 4-3 in the Pred's favor and we're moving as fast as we can to the car so we can turn on the radio.

Never have I felt so old as to leave a sporting event early in order to miss the traffic jam and get my butt home. I mentioned that to H and he laughed. Oh well, I'm not old, damn it! I'm TIRED!! Once we got in the car, we turned on the radio in time to hear Erat make the fifth and final goal for Nashville. We Got TACOS! WooHoo! For the first time EVER, I didn't hear the crowd do the taco chant after scoring the fifth goal. They didn't even do the chant after the fourth goal letting everyone and their mother know "We want TACOS!" It truly was a magical night when you can stop rednecks from asking for free food. It's the Playoffs, Baby! Too excited to sleep well this night.

Tuesday night, we stayed home. We got nachos from Bellacino's. I don't care what anyone says. They have the BEST darned Nachos from anyplace I've ever bought them and I order nachos almost everywhere I go. I now only order them from Bellacino's. :-) For some reason, I'm unable to sleep through the night.

Wednesday - Happy Belated Hump Day! I got a call from H yesterday afternoon that we may have tickets to the Predator Game. We were on the list and they were giving tickets to those that didn't go on Monday first. We were FIRST on the list. When I left work, I called H to see if we were going to the game or staying home. We did not get tickets to the game, so we went to dinner at Cracker Barrel. I went to bed at 9 o'clock. H laughed at me for going to bed so early; but I feel so good this morning that I don't even care. It's almost 3 in the afternoon, and I'm still feeling good. I may try going to bed early tonight, too.

I hope you all have a GREAT week. By the way, I play Alliance on Mal'ganis. I have a few horde lowbies on another server, but I haven't touched them in over a year and have no idea where they are right now. I started them the week Mal'ganis was down and haven't been back since. I guess I need to get them rolling.

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers for K2 and for keeping me going this week. I have really appreciated the blogosphere and all the friends I have met here.

I still haven't updated pictures of my new hairstyle. I haven't even downloaded those pictures from my camera yet. I guess I REALLY need to do that so y'all can see just how cute I am. LOL! HA! Kidding. Until later...

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Problem with K2

K2 was rushed to the hospital last night by ambulance. All is well, so do not worry. She is now home and fine. The poor little thing is only 9 months old.

We received a phone call about 8 last night saying that K2 had been taken to the hospital by ambulance because she had a seizure and her daddy went with her. We heard her screaming in the background. The conversation was in Laotian, but even I KNEW something wasn't right so I was getting myself ready to leave as soon as H got off the phone. They needed us to pick up Mommy and K and take them to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital, she was crying but no longer screaming. While we were there, they had to prick her heel to get blood for testing. Poor thing did NOT like that AT ALL. I went to her and smoothed the hair on her head while they were taking blood. I also made soothing sounds to her and she stopped crying (after a while) while they were drawing blood. After they left, I hummed Brahm's Lullaby and she actually fell asleep. She even slept through the buzzing of the machine when her IV drip was done. They came in, refilled it, and left while she slept through the whole thing.

At that point, we didn't know how long before the doctor came in and released her or told us what was wrong. We took K into the waiting room so he wouldn't have to be still, wouldn't get in the way, and wouldn't have to be quiet.

We were finally able to leave the hospital around midnight. K2 has pneumonia. She had the seizure because her temperature got too high. Poor little thing. She is now at home with prescriptions to help get rid of the infection and keep her temperature out of the danger zone.

Needless to say, I cried in the car all the way to the hospital. I think of her and K as our kids. H does as well. They are the closest we will EVER have to children of our own. We can't help that. These are the niece and nephew that live closest to us. We see them almost every weekend. They will know us as they grow up. We will always be there for them. We can't do that for my brother's children because they live on the other side of the country. I don't know that they will ever want us to be part of their lives.

Anyway, I'm tired as hell today. We didn't get home until after 1 this morning, but I don't regret a minute of it. I'll be there every time they call. And they know it.

Friday, April 11, 2008


WooHoo! It's FRIDAY!

I think I need to make something clear. The haircut in the most recent pictures on my SparkPage are NOT my latest haircut. That is the cut before this newest. The newest cut is the CUTEST!!! It's also the one I love. :-)

You all have been fantastic in encouraging me to keep going. You have been a GREAT help to keep me motivated.

Guess what? I found something else to motivate me as well. My college alma mater is taking a trip to Ireland in October. H and I will be going. WooHoo! I have 21 pounds to lose between now and then. We are using this trip to reward ourselves for a year of healthier choices (Aug '07 to Aug '08). I'm also going to use this trip to celebrate getting to my goal. There's no reason I can't make my goal by that time.

I'm excited. The trip will take us into Shannon. From there, we will be traveling to Killarney and Kilkenney with side trips to Blarney, Kinsale, and Dublin. I've never been out of North America (I'm not counting the cruise from hell that took us to South America since we didn't really see anything except the shore from the bow of the ship). We've been to Canada a few times, but that's been about it in regards to traveling outside the USA. I can't wait. I'm waiting for my boss to sign off on my vacation time before I call and pay the deposit for the trip. I should have those days approved next week.

I can't wait to go shopping for smaller clothes for the trip.

I'll let y'all know when I get pictures of my latest hairstyle up and running. I'll even try to post it here. Keep your fingers crossed.

Until later...

Monday, April 07, 2008

Monday Down..

So, Monday is down and there are 4 more days to work this week. Work is kind of slow. Thankfully, I can cruise the Internet while I'm working without worrying about getting into trouble. That's a first for me when it comes to jobs. Not too shabby.

In regards to the haircut, it is like Paige Davis' short cut (only cuter). Mine is a little shorter in the back, still more layers, and they all do the flippy thing. Picture Meg Ryan in Courage Under Fire only with more layers (like this one and this one only mine is darker, fuller on top, a touch longer in the back with flippy ends, and more layers - all of which do the flippy thing).

Anyway, so those pictures are really close to my haircut.

I have put pictures on my SparkPage if you'd like to see them. It's much easier to put pictures on that page because I can upload them directly from my computer instead of having to post them on the web somewhere first. Anyway, there is one before photo and two recent pictures. I also blogged on that page about my feelings when I posted those photos.

Hope you all have a great week. Until later...

Friday, April 04, 2008


I must have the PERFECT hairstyle for my face and weight right now. Why? I'm glad you asked. I'll be happy to tell you. EVERY.SINGLE. PERSON in my office complimented me on my hair today. That has NEVER happened. Even SUB said it was really cute. WooHoo! I guess that means I'll have to post before and after photos (actually, that means I need to figure out how to do that) so y'all can see.

She (meaning the hairdresser) called the hairstyle the "Paige Davis" - you know, from Trading Spaces. I showed her a bunch of pictures from hairstyle magazines and noticed that every picture was actually the same hairstyle just tweaked one way or another. I told her exactly what I was looking for in a hairstyle and she said she could put her own spin on the "Paige Davis" to make it perfect for me. I have to say; though, last night I Googled Paige Davis and my hair looks SOOO much BETTER than hers. :-)

I've found my new hair cut. Neener Neener Neener!! Even MIO complimented me - of course, he did it after everyone else, but by the look on his face, he noticed when he first walked in the door. I think he felt uncomfortable saying anything in case it wasn't PC. WooHoo! I must be looking C-U-T-E!!

I guess I'm definitely going to have to give in and post pictures of myself. I want NO bad things said when I do (that's one reason I haven't posted pictures before now - that and the fact that I don't know how). :-)

Have a great weekend. TGIF!! Until later...

Thursday, April 03, 2008

So, I Guess My SIL Really Has NOTHING to Worry About. :-)

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou

The Blogosphere ROCKS!!!

Thanks for your hugs, understanding, encouragement, and love! One thing I have really loved about having this blog is getting to know people like you and finding out that I'm not the only one with a family like mine. It's amazing to me how lonely I was growing up (actually until I met H) thinking that I was the only person that dealt with these issues. I started my blog so that those that come AFTER me will realize they aren't alone in their struggles; and instead, I'm finding that I'm not alone in mine.

The Blogosphere ROCKS!! My day did get better. Have a great rest of the week. I'm getting my hair cut later today. I'm not quite sure how it's going to be cut yet. I'm thinking about just telling her what I would like out of my hairstyle and let her do whatever she thinks would look best on me and meet my criteria.

What is my criteria you ask?

1. Looks good on me with my face shape and current weight. The biggest problem I have right now is that I don't see the real me unless I'm looking at a picture of me. That makes it difficult to fix my hair in the morning. What looks great on the person in the mirror looks terrible on the person in the picture (which is what everyone else sees).
2. I want it to be easy. I take maybe 10 minutes on my hair in the morning and that includes blow drying it. I just never learned how to play with my hair or how to fix it to complement me to the best advantage. I need this taken care of for me by having a cut I can easily maintain and control.
3. It needs to be feminine.
4. I'd like it to be somewhat sexy.
5. fit my age
6. fit my lifestyle
7. It doesn't have to be too conservative.
8. I really do just want a change that will look smashing on me. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.
9. Something that will make someone take a second look without being flashy or over the top.
10.Something that will convey the inner me that has all the confidence in the world. I'm trying to find her again. I don't care if my thinking has to catch up to my look. I'm tired of the me I am currently portraying to the world. You know...the person that is insecure.

Until later...

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Happy Hump Day!!

Happy Hump Day, Y'all! Aren't you glad you stopped by? The answer here is YES! Damn it!

Anyway, things really haven't been bugging me much lately. Life is good. I have no complaints. I do however have something I noticed today - not that it's bugging me. It just shows how I rate with my sister-in-law (M - I think is how she's on my sidebar - it's been such a long time since I've been hurt by her, that I really couldn't tell ya - yeah, don't have that much interaction anymore). So, I visit her website almost every day to see if she's posted any new pictures of my brother, herself, or the niece and nephews. On her sidebar is a list of her friends and family that also have blogs. I'm not mentioned. I guess my blog isn't CC (Christian Correct) for her (as opposed to PC - politically correct). Anyway, just a small slight; but yet another reason I don't feel the love from that part of my family. I'm sure she knows that I visit the site. I do leave comments from time to time. I do scroll down on her page and look the whole site over.

If someone clicks on my name when I leave a comment, they're going to come here anyway. I guess she's come here once or twice - which was enough for her to know she doesn't want her true friends or her family coming here. Maybe that's it. Maybe she's only listing her family members (since I'm the only one in G's family that blogs). Who knows. I'm not upset. Maybe a little hurt. It's not like she's made a big effort to get to know me. I've given up calling except on G's birthday because I can't afford to be the only one to make phone calls. I didn't even get a phone call from G on my last birthday until Mom or Dad called him to remind him. Remember, they ALL forgot me on my birthday last year. Yeah, I'm not bitter. I have nothing to be hurt about. WHATEVER!

If I treated them half the way they treat me, they'd understand my hurt; but I don't, so they have no clue to how hurt they've made me over the years. Maybe I am a bit bitter and still letting all that crap hurt me. Maybe I need to just post all the crap in one place so I can let it go. I don't know. Honestly, I thought I let it all go until I started typing.

I was the only bridesmaid that didn't know anyone else in the party. She went out the night before the wedding with her bridal party (but I wasn't invited). Grant it, she had never met me before that day, so I do understand not being invited; but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. Yeah, that still hurts the most. I would have understood her at least telling me about it and saying that she didn't think I would enjoy it since it was her childhood friends. I would have understood. I probably would have told her she'd have more fun without me since we didn't know each other. I'm NOT about to push myself on someone who doesn't want me around or doesn't know me and it was the night before her wedding. I'm not stupid. I know she would have rather spent it with her friends than trying to make me feel comfortable. Neither one of us would have been comfortable. It's just the THOUGHT. The next day, she and her friends were telling inside jokes from the night before. Yeah, I felt really good that day, too; but it WASN'T my day. I GET that. It just would have been nice to have been given the niceties. Maybe she was afraid that I would accept an invitation to spend time with her and her friends. Um, maybe on another day. I would have LOVED to have spent time with her and gotten to know her better; but I've never been given the opportunity. I've always wanted a sister. Now I have a sister that really seems to want nothing to do with me.

Okay, crying now, so I'm stopping. I hope y'all have a great day. Don't worry about me. I guess I'm not completely over this stuff yet like I thought I was. Sorry for the rant, that's just how it all came out and I refuse to go back and delete the whole post now. It's just part of who I am. Deal with it or don't. I'm used to people making those two decisions when it comes to me. My family chooses the "don't" H's family chooses the "do". The choice is yours, but this is me and I refuse to live my life any longer the way I think any other person expects me to.

Until later....


Tuesday, April 01, 2008

April Goals

My goals for this month are:

1. Lose 5 Pounds by April 29 (my weigh in date). This is equivalent to a little more than 1 pound a week.

2. Go to Curves 3x a week. I've GOT to do this. I'm paying for it and haven't even been there since Feb. 11. SHAME on me!!

3. The 4 days I don't go to Curves, I will get on my elliptical trainer for at least 200 steps.

I have been extremely lax the past two weeks. I've actually gained a pound each week for the past two weeks. I think I lost a bit of my motivation. I've been changing my eating habits and losing weight since August of last year. I think my body and brain just needed a bit of a break.

I am back on track today and posting my goals here will help make me more accountable. I hope! That's my plan anyway. I've also joined 2 challenges this month on SparkPeople.

The first challenge is with Fabulous, Fun, and Forty Something. For this challenge, I have to post each day in the challenge forum, and huddle each day. These are both done with a partner. If both people do these, our team gets 1 point. We also get 1 point for every pound we lose this month.

The second challenge is with W8W Friends. On this challenge, we get a point a day for the following:
tracking food
each activity point (up to 4 per day)
eating 5 fruits/veggies
getting in our Healthy Oil
2 milk servings per day

We get 2 points per day for drinking 8 glasses of water, 5 points per WEEK for blogging on our Spark People blog, and 3 points for commenting on a teammate or other spark member blog each day (max of 21 per week).

These should both keep me on track for this month.

So, what are your goals for the month of April? Until later...