Friday, May 25, 2007

Weird Dream

I woke up this morning after having the strangest dream. I dreamt that my 82-year old grandmother was pregnant. Not only was my grandmother pregnant, but my parents (who are dead set against abortion unless it is to save the mother’s life) were telling her to get an abortion.

H and I were telling Grandma that we would raise her child as our own. We told her that more and more grandparents were raising their grandchildren, so it shouldn’t be unthinkable for a grandchild to take care of their grandparent’s newborn.

What a dream!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Pop Quiz

I found this idea on this website and thought I'd do it on mine. :-)

Below is a list of songs from the year I graduated High School.

*By the way, each of these songs went to #1*

1. "With or Without You" by U2
2. "Walk Like an Egyptian" by The Bangles
3. "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi
4. "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany
5. "Always" by Atlantic Starr

Boy, do I feel old now! So...what year did I graduate High School?

You're the Best!

You Make My Day!

Thanks to all those that read my blog on a regular basis even if I don’t blog on a regular basis. Even though I have not been feeling like blogging, there are still quite a few sites that I visit pretty regularly. There are even some that I haven’t been to in a while, but I know I need to catch up. One day, I will. I promise!

To answer Manda Girl’s question…H and I have thought about adoption. We’ve looked into it, but we’ve found that the expense is a little overwhelming for us at this time. I just finished school, and we now have two huge student loans to pay in addition to two pretty big credit card balances (we were unaware of student loans when H first went to school, so that was a poor decision on our part), and a house note to continue paying on. We are leery about adopting in the States because we’re afraid that even though the courts will give us a piece of paper stating the child is ours, they have been known to reverse that decision years later. I could not handle that. I would rather be without a child my entire life than to have one ripped out of my hands and life.

We have even thought about artificial insemination, but then we think about our lives. I will be 40 next year. Do I really want to be 60 when my child turns 20? I don’t think I’d be able to keep up with the child in the way that I would like or would expect myself to. I don’t know how the 60-year old lady who just had twins is planning on doing it, but I don’t think we can do that in good conscience. Yes, H is 6 years younger than I am, but statistically, that just means that we’ll be dying the same year. :-) The way we look at it, K and NN will grow up with us around all the time. We think of K as ours. I’m sure we’ll feel the same way with his little sister and whatever other siblings may join that family.

Also, since we are starting to pare down our lives, we will be able to do more for K and his siblings as well as travel more (Contemplator, how did you know that was my first thought). :-) By looking over our lives, we realized that having children would keep us from picking up and going anytime we wanted. We realized that we would be put on school schedules, baby sitting schedules, and kid’s sickness schedules. We all know how predictable those can be.

We realized that our lives are pretty darn good the way they are. We just need to remember that, be content with that, and realize that children of our own just aren’t in the cards for us. The hardest part for me is seeing these wonderful women having children all around me (one of which is my age) and my ever hopeful heart whenever I happen to be late (even though I know it to be an impossibility).

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

LOOONNNG Post (Gotta Catch You Up) :-)

This is going to be ONE LONG POST – just letting you know up front. I wouldn’t want to shock anyone. :-)

I know it’s been a while since I have done any type of “blogging” on a regular basis. I have been battling illness for a while now and went to the doctor last week. Come to find out, I currently have extremely low blood pressure (80/58). That sounds dead to me, but since I am still up walking around, I can’t be dead. No wonder I’ve been tired as hell lately and getting dizzy for no good reason. I haven’t even been able to think straight or get the right word out of my mouth for about a week. How it got that low, nobody knows. What can I do to change it? The doctor said to include more fluids into my system. I already suffer from low blood count. I was told a few years ago to stop donating blood because although I have enough for my body, I have no extra to spare.

I’ve also been having problems with my throat. I feel like there is a lump in it and it feels swollen to me, but after an ultrasound, nothing was found swollen inside my throat. They had me swallow barium last Thursday while being x-rayed to see if there is anything lodged in my throat. There wasn’t, but they did find that I have a slight case of acid reflux and that I have a small hiatal hernia. I was told nothing by my doctor on how to handle either of these situations. Actually, I haven’t even had a phone call from my doctor with the results of my tests. I heard all of this from the person actually performing the tests. That gives me a lot of faith in my doctor. NOT!

Things are going well at work. I think my problem with SUB is that I just needed to figure out her personality. For the most part, she is fine. She has her days like everyone else. On those days, it isn’t just me she gives a hard time to, so I guess it’s just time for me to stop taking things personally. She has stated that she is a first born (which I am too), but it has made her extremely bossy. Her mom used to bribe her to tattle on her siblings and watch them while her mom was doing chores around the house. I guess that’s where “each person or situation is different” can really come into play and I need to remember to take that into account.

The Guy I Work With (GIWW) – he’s the only man in our whole office – has a few habits that drive me NUTS. He is constantly talking to himself. Out. Loud. He loves to hear his own voice and doesn’t like quiet of any kind. It drives me nuts! He tends to give me a headache which wouldn’t be bad except that my headaches have a tendency to turn into migraines. Not. Fun. At. All. I feel sorry for the guy because he is the only guy in the office and there are 7 of us that work closely each day. He is also under the false impression that I am his secretary and am there to mail merge his documents, put his names and addresses into Excel files, and do all that other “secretarial” stuff. That is NOT my job and not what I was hired for. My job is to deal with all incoming correspondence whether by mail, phone, or email; to answer all phone calls; and to take reservations. PERIOD.

Our group is actually in 2 buildings (converted houses). In the “house” we work in, there is 1 bathroom for 4 people to share. The other house has loads of bathrooms because it is a converted B&B. Anyway, I find it amazing that a 30-year old man has a problem hitting the toilet on a daily basis. And. He. DOESN’T. Clean. After. Himself. That’s the worst part. I am not his wife, mother, sister, girlfriend, or any relation to him. I do NOT want to clean up his bodily fluids. I don’t like doing that after H and I married the man.

My office is having babies galore. One woman had a baby in December. One just had a baby in April (she’s still out on maternity leave). One woman just found out she’s having three! This has made me feel a little heartbroken, but I am completely excited for each of these women. I would love to be any of them at this moment. H and I were thinking that maybe we need to talk about children again. We know the only way for that to happen for us would be either adoption or being artificially inseminated. We have talked long and hard about this for the past two weeks. We have contacted our insurance and found that fertility of any kind is not covered. That kind of tells us what we needed to know. We just need to be content with our circumstance.

We’ve decided to pare down our belongings and plan on staying in our 1276 sq ft home for another 8-10 years (possibly longer). We really don’t need to move any time soon. It’s just the two of us and a small dog. I was thinking the other day that my grandparents moved into their 2-bedroom house when my dad was 6-months old and his brother was 3. They lived in that house until they both passed away. They lived there for over 40 years. We really don’t NEED a bigger house. If we learn to live smaller, we can have a better future, we can even continue living the way we are and possibly take more trips throughout the year.
I don’t think I need to make this post any bigger than it already is. I hope you all have a great week. I will try to be more consistent in my posting.

Sunday, May 06, 2007


I know I have been remiss in writing recently. I have hardly touched my computer here at home for the past few months so I’ve got a lot to catch you up on.

Work is going great. One person at work SUB (Stick Up Butt) has a few days where she tends to think that I report to her. I don’t! We both know that. She has a Master’s Degree and is contemplating getting her Ph.D. Maybe I just feel insecure around her because she is much younger than I am and I just got my Bachelor’s after all this time. I don’t know. Maybe my whole problem with her is actually my problem. Although, I am not hallucinating her bossiness or the fact that she tries to bully me around. Case in point, we had a registration we had to set up and I set it up the way the Coordinator asked me to. SUB was working the registration desk (I was not. I wasn’t working or even at the event). At the next Monday staff meeting, she brings up everything I should have done and failed to do for that event. I’m new. I’ve never done a registration desk for events like this before, and I just followed the directions of the leader for that event. My Big Boss (BB) stated that she and my Main Boss (MB) would get with me later that week regarding how things need to be for future registrations. They mentioned that it would have been a good idea for me to sit at that registration table to see what it is like. Before MB could have had a chance to sit down with me, SUB came to my office and started telling me everything I should have done, what was needed, and what wasn’t needed. MB came into my office area and stood up for me and said that we would go over it later. Later that day, MB told me that there was no reason for SUB to come up to me and that it was something that I wasn’t aware of. I told MB that I did exactly what the Coordinator asked me to do. She agreed that it wasn’t my fault and that SUB should NOT have brought it up in staff meeting because BB was there and was already going to have MB sit down with me about the whole thing. I guess SUB just needed to show that she was superior in some way. Whatever!

See what you’ve been missing. Anyway, next time something like that comes up, I’m going to stand up for myself and let her know that MB and I will discuss it so she doesn’t have to worry about it.

NN is doing well. She should be coming into our family around the end of July. I am so excited! I cannot believe how close it is. It’s right around the corner. They have not yet thought of a name for her. I suggested making her middle name the name of her grandma since K has the first four letters of his dad’s, uncle’s, and his grandfather’s names. Don’t worry, they all start with the same 4 letters. :-)

Speaking of K….he mentioned to H the other day that he wanted to go to the aquarium “like we did when I was little. Remember?” K is currently 4 and he was 2 when he “was little”. I thought that was hilarious!