Dilemma

How do you keep your family from hurting you? How do you drop your family? I just don't get it. I don't know that I can, but I know it is the only way to save my piece of mind and sanity. I still have not heard a peep from my mom, yet they will call when they get in town tomorrow because they want us to keep their car while they're on a 2-week cruise so they don't have to pay for parking that entire time.

I know that my family will NEVER completely love me or accept me. I know that no matter how hard I try or how well I do anything, it will never be enough to please them. But to give up makes me feel like I'm a terrible person. I mean, heck, my own brother has pretty much given up on the family and he considers himself a great "Christian". I don't put much stock in the religion thing, but (in my mind and heart) it's wrong to give up on family. I don't want to be a terrible person, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like a second-rate citizen when it comes to my family either. I know I have to make a choice, but how does a person make a choice like that? All this because my mom got her feelings hurt and is being selfish. This has been going on and bothering me since before her birthday in August. She's 60 years old, shouldn't she know better by now? Obviously, if she hasn't changed by now, she isn't going to. I understand that. Hell, I even accept that. What I don't accept is being treated the way I am by my family. None of my feelings matter as long as mom gets her way. That sucks! Why can't they accept me the way I accept them - faults and all?

All I've ever wanted is to be a good daughter. To show my family that I am worthy of their love and make them proud(why don't I feel worthy? Does this all have to do with my grandfather? That one situation is the only difference between my brother's upbringing and mine yet he doesn't let our parents get to him the way I do. Did grandpa tell me my mom wouldn't love me if I told? I have no idea). How can I be a good daughter if I give up on my family? Can I be a good daughter? Family means EVERYTHING to me. I guess I really need to cling to the family I have chosen (some of which I am related to) instead of the family I am related to. This whole situation makes me feel as though I am not a good person. I feel mean, selfish, bad, and terrible for feeling this way.

any suggestions?