Do I think abortion is murder? Yes. Do I think it’s wrong? That’s something I’m actually struggling with. I know that sounds strange, but I really don’t know how I feel about abortion.
I completely understand abortion when the mother’s life is at risk. I also understand abortion when the child is a result of rape or incest. I can understand the woman not wanting to keep the child or to be reminded of how the child was conceived for the next nine months.
Sadly, there are already so many children in foster care or placed with adoption agencies that we cannot find enough parents to take them. Not wanting to adopt is a whole other issue that I’m not going to discuss right now. Some of the children in foster care do not fare well. They are still abused by those that are supposed to be looking out for their best interests.
Is it better to have an abortion than to put a child through a life that could be marked with disaster? I realize that disaster is not guaranteed, but neither is having a happy life. All children deserved to be loved, wanted, and happy. Sometimes, I’m just confused about this issue. I feel terrible and conflicted because I am confused. I was brought up in the Christian faith where murder is a major sin.
In all honesty, though, I would much rather hear of a child being aborted than hearing what’s been on the news lately. There’s been a father who has confessed to stomping on his 3-year old’s head. There’s been the man who was upset because his wife gave him another boy (I think it was the couple’s 4th) so he held the child up and dropped him on his head on the pavement. There’s the woman who microwaved her little girl. Then there’s also the man that starved his 17-month old to the point the child weighed only 10 pounds (this child was also so cold that a temperature could not be taken). All these children died! The list could go on.
It breaks my heart to hear about these children. It just doesn’t seem fair to me that a person that could carry out those heinous crimes on innocent children can reproduce when H and I can’t. I cried last night just thinking about this. I actually cry often when I think of this as I do each time a new story is aired that a child has been abused in ANY way.
I would much rather that these children would have been aborted then to have to live through the pain these atrocities put them through. Don’t get me wrong. Abortion is NOT a form of birth control! I will NEVER believe that! I’m just so conflicted about the rest of it. I think part of the reason I’m so conflicted is because of my upbringing (not that my upbringing was bad – I just don’t always see eye to eye with the religious beliefs of my family or the denomination I grew up believing).
I’ve been wanting to blog about this for quite some time now (try to work through the conflicts by putting it to words), but I’ve been afraid you would think I’m a terrible person for feeling the way that I do and for being so conflicted about this issue. I even asked H last night if these thoughts made me a bad person (again, probably because of my upbringing). I apologize if any of my remarks upset any of you, but I had to get these thoughts out. That’s what this blog is all about after all.
What are your thoughts? Until later...
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9 comments:
I think a lot of people struggle with this issue.
I personally would never have an abortion. However, I have no problem with women having the right to make that decision for themselves.
I have nightmares about my D&C where I wake up and all I can think about is my baby being sucked from me. Can you imagine how hard that must be for women who know that their baby was still alive?
I'm sure there are people who use abortion as a form of birth control. But I also believe there are plenty of women who do it because they feel it is the best solution. I'm sure I'll take a brow beating for this, but what courage that must take.
Abortion is a tough subject. I agree with you that it is murder. As to if it is wrong...well that is subjective. I see why you are okay with someone having one, but in reality are there that many mothers who are going to die from giving birth or is this a myth that has stuck around?
Personally I never could have an abortion. However, I cannot condemn someone who has. They have madea choice that best suited them. I may not agree with it, but it is their choice and conscience that they will live with for the rest of their life.
I am sure that a lot of where you are coming from is from your upbringing. I think it is fair of you to ask yourself what it is that you believe now. I hope that you come to your own conclusion.
I'm not sure that I have have been very clear on my ideas on this subject as well. I think it's brave for you to bring it up and discover what the answer could be. Unfortunately, I don't think there is a right or wrong approach or opinion to it. No one should judge anothers actions until they have walked in their shoes.
Thanks for commenting today, got me thinking I needed to post!
I thought I was the only one who didn't know where they stood on this issue.
Like you, I absolutely believe that it is murder. However, I am not 100% against it. Do I think murder is ok? Of course not. I guess my biggest thing is that, like Penni mentioned, it should NEVER be used as birth control. That's when it pisses me off. I had a couple of friends in college who had abortions before I knew them. That didn't change how I felt about them, and that's probably the biggest reason that I can see why someone would do it, and that not all people who do it are evil.
My first and third pregnancies were both unplanned, and although it took a little time to be excited about them, you and your husband are the reason that we were thankful for them from day 1. There are so many people out there who would give anything to have a baby but can't, and there we were with the ultimate blessing.
Wow, this ended up being a long comment. But I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my uncertainty.
I just read your "About Me" section about wanting people to feel like they are not alone. Looks like you're succeeding! :)
I pretty much view this decision (and most all personal decisions) as something that no one has the right to judge. Who am *I* to say what you (not YOU, but you know "you" as the collective population) should or shouldn't do? Who am *I* to say it's right or wrong. It's not my decision and unless I have lived that person's life exactly, then I have no business projecting my beliefs or thoughts onto them. How do I know that I wouldn't do the exact same thing if faced with the same situation?
In a perfect world (my perfect world), every single person who wanted children would get them, love them, take care of them and no child would EVER (!!!) be hurt mentally, physically or emotionally. And until that world exists, then no one (in my opinion) has the right to judge anyone else because not a single one of us on this earth is perfect.
Holy rambling comment. Sheesh. I'll go away now.
I've just recently starting reading your blog, but I had to comment on this post. Like you, this is a subject I have felt compelled to blog about, and while I'm not really concerned about any backlash from it, I am struggling with how to put the words to my thoughts because I am so conflicted.
I absolutely believe that abortion is murder. I do not understand how taking the life of a living being with its own heartbeat could not be classified as murder. But, my problem is that we have a long way to go in helping girls and women in reproductive education and real options when it comes to handling an unplanned pregnancy. I'm also on my second unplanned pregnancy, both conceived while on birth control, and while the first did not result in a live birth, this one is about 6 weeks away from being born. Because I know that so many factors have to be just right for life to be created and to continue, abortion is not a consideration for me unless there is a threat to my life by continuing the pregnancy because that's a simple matter of self defense.
As long as people insist on preaching abstinence rather than really delving into birth control options and how a child is created and the stages of a pregnancy, and as long as women are left to just deal rather than having adequate access to real support when they are faced with the possibility of giving birth and being a mother even if they didn't mean to, I can't see how we can try to make abortions illegal. I wish the world was a place where they could be, with the only exception being if carrying the pregnancy would be a threat to a woman's life. I actually don't think rape and incest are really good reasons for abortions; the stories I've read from rape victims indicate that abortion doesn't help them cope in any way and just causes more grief and trauma.
So, yeah, you're not alone in not really being able to take a stand one way or the other. It just seems more and more like this issue shouldn't be an all or nothing one. The right to abort probably shouldn't be absolute, but it shouldn't be completely removed, either.
I agree with "the q". I don't believe I have the right to dictate to another woman the decision she should make about her own body. I believe that to do that lowers women's status to little more than a surrogate womb. I'm not willing to go there, and I'm not willing to force a woman to give birth against her will. So, because of that, regardless of how one classifies an unborn child (foetus, zygote, infant, whatever), I'm squarely in the right to choose camp.
It simply isn't my decision to make--unless it's over my *own* body.
Up until the last few months we thought we wouldn't ever have an children and the thought of abortion sounded so selfish to me. I mean you have the option to have a child and decide not to. But now that I don't have an attitude with all fertile woman I see having that right.
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