DAM day 2

Depression/Anxiety Medication, y’all. Get your heads out of the gutters. Haha. I like that acronym (it catches your attention). This will be listed as one of my “characters” on my sidebar because there are times I feel like another person because of the chemical imbalance that causes me to have depression/anxiety. Today is one of those days – not to a huge extent, but enough to where I feel weird. I’ve got to say that I am glad I decided to take this stuff at night. The first night was GREAT, but that’s because I sat on the sofa all night and did nothing. Last night, we went to dinner with a friend. Within 45 minutes of taking this pill, I started having stomach problems (including slight cramps, but nothing major) and ended up in the restaurants bathroom twice in about 20 minutes for probably a total of 20 minutes. When we got up to leave, I was fine. We walked outside and stood around talking for about another 20 minutes at which time I started to get pretty dizzy. I can’t imagine having this type of reaction right before leaving my house for work or on my way to work while trying to drive a car.

I have felt a little “off” all day today. A little shaky, I can’t seem to find the words I want to say, and I’m finding myself taking a lot more deep breaths than I have in the past just to fight the jitters and wonky feeling. I can’t wait until I’ve been on this medication for a few weeks to see if those symptoms pass. It feels weird to have the jitters like this and to be shaky. I’ve never done that to this extent before. I’ve also never had a panic attack that wasn’t triggered by public speaking. Maybe I would have had these problems on the days I had to speak in public whether I was speaking or not. Maybe it’s just my chemical imbalance letting me know that my combination of hormones and everything else just isn’t quite right that day (which would include every day this week so far). I’ve got to say though, I think I would be much worse this week if I weren’t taking the medication even though I know it’s not in my body enough to do a lot of good, I think it’s doing enough to keep me from having a major panic attack like Monday. I’d rather feel a little wonky than feel as panicked as I did Monday. Every little bit helps at this point.

Until later…..