Finally Emerging

I'm emerging in part due to you and your wonderful comments. Thank you so much! Y'all mean the world to me. It's pretty sad when your "blog family" is nicer to you than your biological family.

Ty's Girl,
Manda, Thanks so much for the offer of teaching them a lesson and busting knee caps. :-) I really needed the laugh and your kind words mean so much. Manda, I'm so sorry you've gone through this as well. It amazes me just how much we have in common.

It's 8PM here and I actually just got off the phone with my parents. I CALLED THEM! I didn't want to be sad the remainder of the night and I've been crying off/on since 4:30 this afternoon. I figured they wouldn't know how much I was hurt if I didn't tell them. Here's part of my conversation:

Dad (when he picked up the phone): Ho! Ho! Ho!
Me: Did you forget something today?
Dad: What?
Me: Did you forget something today?
D: No???
Me: Today's my birthday and not one family member called me (I burst into tears while saying this - I didn't mean to and didn't want to. It just happened)

He apologized profusely and started listing all the things they did today and how he didn't turn on his PDA.
Me: That's no excuse for forgetting my birthday
D: You're right

We talked for a few more minutes. Mostly I cried and he kept apologizing.

3 minutes into our conversation, my brother calls and goes into voicemail. Honestly, when I called, I expected Mom to leave the room and call G to tell him to call me. He left a short message telling me happy birthday and he hoped I had a good day and enjoyed it (he sounded extremely sheepish which is rare for him - yep, he forgot, too). He also said that he and his family were on their way out the door to see Christmas lights and that we'd talk later. I'm fine with this. I know my entire family forgot about me today. Strange, though how I never forget one of their birthdays and they ALL get a call from me on their day.

Dad: your mom just walked back into the room and she wants to talk to you. (yep! Mom called G)

My conversation with mom was pretty much like my convo with dad with a few added parts.

Me: You didn't even think of me today. ON MY BIRTHDAY!
Mom: yes, I did. I even talked to you with (friends of theirs)...In a good way (yes! She qualified that statement).
Me: yet you didn't even think of my birthday.
Mom: well, since I don't work anymore, I never know what day it is.
Me: you haven't worked in years and you've NEVER forgotten my birthday before.
Mom: I know. It's no excuse for not calling
Me: you're right. It's not.
Mom: you know we love you
Me: most days. Today, I had my doubts and I've been crying since 4:30. I've been expecting your phone calls all day and they never came. H dragged me out of the house for dinner because I was so down. I didn't even want to go, but he made me. (H is so good to me)
Mom: we're so sorry (she's in tears at this point)
Me: you know how you'd feel if I forgot YOUR birthday (mom is all about making sure her birthday lasts all weekend and she gets to do EVERYTHING she wants no matter what anyone else wants)
Mom: I know. I'm so sorry

When we hung up the phone, mom was still in tears. That's the first time I've EVER been able to tell them when they've hurt me. It took me 39 years to get to that point. Now that it's all out, I have to admit that I feel so much better.

Is it any wonder I feel more comfortable and loved with H's family than I do my own? By the way, part of the day was REALLY good. The problem was that all day, I expected to receive 2 phone calls that NEVER came. So I was disappointed and hurt all day no matter what good thing happened.

For lunch, we went to the restaurant H's parents own and the sushi chef (who I've only known for 2 months) made me a special birthday sushi roll and decorated the plate (he was working on this as we were walking through the door). Even he was better to me today than my family! Since H's parents were working today, we will be going over there tomorrow. They wanted to take us out to lunch, but they really don't have to. They make me feel special and loved every day and I can't even explain how they do it. I just feel it from them.

Anyway, thanks again for your love and support. You'll never know how good you made me feel or what you mean to me.

Until later...