I don’t mind my friends missing my birthday or my brother (he’s a guy and I have to remind H about his family's birthdays all the time, so I understand that). It’s my parents that should know better and NEVER forget my birthday. I can’t figure out how a parent can forget their child’s birthday. I mean, it's not like my mom wasn't there or anything. Dad was in Viet Nam, but still.
H and his family have been great to me. They are definitely spectacular people. They’ll never know how much they mean to me. Today was a little better. I turned off my phone because I didn’t want to talk to my folks today. When I turned it back on, I had one voice mail from my dad saying he hoped I had a good day. Yeah...I haven’t called him back and have no idea when I’ll be talking to them again. Sadly, I feel bad that I don’t want to talk to them, but I still can’t really talk/think about it without crying/tearing up.
This year (my 39th) is definitely going to be better than past years. I started it off by letting my parents know exactly how I felt for a change. I don’t know how things will turn out with my family, but I’m definitely going to take better care of myself and stand up for myself this year even if it means that I feel bad for standing up for myself and staying away from them for a bit.
Sadly, this isn’t the first time they have hurt me badly, but it is the first time they have forgotten my birthday. One main time they hurt me was last year when I graduated from college (Aug. 2006). I asked my mom if they were going to throw me a party (because H’s family was talking about it). Mom told me I could throw my own party. Yeah, thanks for your support. When they came down, they told me they would be willing to go in halves for whatever H’s family paid for the party they threw me. A little too little too late.
In 2005, they came down for Christmas but decided to leave 3 days before Christmas. I was pissed and hurt. So I guess they’ve been hurting me pretty badly once a year for the past three years.
There are days that I hate them and I feel guilty for feeling that way. Thanks again to everyone for the birthday wishes. Sorry I dumped all this on you. I just had to get it all out.
Until later...
My space...My thoughts...My feelings... I'm hoping my "things" help you with your "things"
Guide of Characters
H = Hubby,
G = Brother,
M = Bro's Wife,
W = Nephew 1,
A or D = Nephew 2,
K = Nephew 3,
B = Niece,
K2 = Niece 2,
SUB = Stick Up Butt co-worker,
MB = My Boss,
BB = Big Boss,
DAM = Depression/Anxiety Medication,
MIO = Man in Office,
EA = Executive Assistant,
NGIO = New Girl in Office
G = Brother,
M = Bro's Wife,
W = Nephew 1,
A or D = Nephew 2,
K = Nephew 3,
B = Niece,
K2 = Niece 2,
SUB = Stick Up Butt co-worker,
MB = My Boss,
BB = Big Boss,
DAM = Depression/Anxiety Medication,
MIO = Man in Office,
EA = Executive Assistant,
NGIO = New Girl in Office
About Me
- Kari
- I will be 40 in December. I have been finding out what is most important to me and what truly makes me happy. I have worked through a lot of issues through my first blog. Before blogging, I always felt alone even when I was in a large group of people. I hope this blog will help others realize that they are not alone as my first blog showed me that I am not alone. I don't want anyone to ever feel the way I have felt. I hope my journey helps others.
Nice Matters Award
2 comments:
Things improved a great deal for me once I decided that I actually didn't really care very much, sort of stood up for myself for the first time in 46 years - so you're doing a lot better than I am dearie.
Best wishes
"Whittereronautism"
It must be in the air. I've decided I'm not taking any more shit from my inlaws. My family is great, they are very supportive and understanding. Ty's family, they are pure evil. I feel horribly guilty for putting Ty in a rough position. But if he ever stood up to them on my behalf, I wouldn't have to. I just always make sure to act with dignity and respect when dealing with them.....which is a LOT more than I can say for the way they treat me.
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