You're the Best!

You Make My Day!

Thanks to all those that read my blog on a regular basis even if I don’t blog on a regular basis. Even though I have not been feeling like blogging, there are still quite a few sites that I visit pretty regularly. There are even some that I haven’t been to in a while, but I know I need to catch up. One day, I will. I promise!

To answer Manda Girl’s question…H and I have thought about adoption. We’ve looked into it, but we’ve found that the expense is a little overwhelming for us at this time. I just finished school, and we now have two huge student loans to pay in addition to two pretty big credit card balances (we were unaware of student loans when H first went to school, so that was a poor decision on our part), and a house note to continue paying on. We are leery about adopting in the States because we’re afraid that even though the courts will give us a piece of paper stating the child is ours, they have been known to reverse that decision years later. I could not handle that. I would rather be without a child my entire life than to have one ripped out of my hands and life.

We have even thought about artificial insemination, but then we think about our lives. I will be 40 next year. Do I really want to be 60 when my child turns 20? I don’t think I’d be able to keep up with the child in the way that I would like or would expect myself to. I don’t know how the 60-year old lady who just had twins is planning on doing it, but I don’t think we can do that in good conscience. Yes, H is 6 years younger than I am, but statistically, that just means that we’ll be dying the same year. :-) The way we look at it, K and NN will grow up with us around all the time. We think of K as ours. I’m sure we’ll feel the same way with his little sister and whatever other siblings may join that family.

Also, since we are starting to pare down our lives, we will be able to do more for K and his siblings as well as travel more (Contemplator, how did you know that was my first thought). :-) By looking over our lives, we realized that having children would keep us from picking up and going anytime we wanted. We realized that we would be put on school schedules, baby sitting schedules, and kid’s sickness schedules. We all know how predictable those can be.

We realized that our lives are pretty darn good the way they are. We just need to remember that, be content with that, and realize that children of our own just aren’t in the cards for us. The hardest part for me is seeing these wonderful women having children all around me (one of which is my age) and my ever hopeful heart whenever I happen to be late (even though I know it to be an impossibility).