Lots of stuff to talk about today

OK. First of all, I start work tomorrow. I did not get the position that I interviewed for - they chose someone that had experience with their leasing software (totally understandable). After interviewing me, they decided they wanted me in their company (I've been told I interview extremely well), so they made a secretarial position and are now hiring 3 people instead of 2. I am the third. WooHoo!! I don't know exactly what I'll be doing - probably typing a lot of letters/memos/etc., running errands, filing, learning their software (leasing/AR/AP) - they want everyone to be cross-trained which is a VERY good idea, and who knows what else. That's ok. I've got a job. We can start putting extra money toward our credit cards to pay them down and eventually get out of debt. I have student loans I'll have to start paying on in February, so they won't be a problem now. I'm sooo excited. I'll be working (during training) from 8:30-5:00. I don't know if that's a half-hour lunch or a full-hour lunch. I guess I'll find that out tomorrow.

next...
We spent this past weekend at my parents house. Saturday was my Grandma's 81st birthday. I love that old Bat. That isn't as harsh as it sounds. She called me a Jack Ass this weekend. :-) She cracks me up. She's the one person in my family that gets me, understands me, and loves me completely for who I am. She's the main reason we go up to my parent's house. Not sure if she knows that or not.

On the drive home, I started to cry. I seem to do that on the drive home a lot from their house. It seems that the drive gives me plenty of time to think about stuff that I keep buried inside. The songs on the CD weren't helping either. That's ok. I realized that my family loves me, but they have no clue who I am. I've been hurt so much that it's hard to get past the pain. That's ok, too. I may never get past the pain. I just need to accept it. My parents are under the mistaken notion that I can do nothing right and my brother can do nothing wrong. OK, that last part isn't quite true - well, it was until recently. My dad is currently hurt and upset at my brother for not coming to my graduation. Dad thought it was a money issue and was going to pay for Bro to come out here, but Bro cut him off and never let him get to his offer. Bro and BroWife have bought a new car and are moving into a house (in CA, which means rent is probably twice what they are currently paying - they're going from a 2 bedroom apartment to a 3 bedroom house). So...money is not the reason they didn't come out. Dad says he isn't holding a grudge, but he hasn't talked to my brother since about a week before my graduation which was the 12th of August. I told my dad that I'm not worrying about it. I don't care. I love Bro, but I don't always like who he is. He's not going to bother me anymore. I told all of that to my dad. I think I shocked him. Oh well.

lastly...
It amazes me that people who say family is the most important thing in the world to them can have no idea who their children are. I know who my family is. I know their strengths and weaknesses. I love them anyway. I don't always like them, but I love them. I know that my mom has to have things her way or she gets pissed. When momma ain't happy...ain't nobody happy. That's the truth when it comes to mom. You can cut the tension with a knife if mom is unhappy about something. Dad goes along with mom to keep the peace. When it comes to the big issues, mom and dad agree. Which is a shame, because I don't agree on any of those issues. Bro agrees with mom and dad on the major issues. Maybe that's why they think he can do no wrong. He likes things his own way just like mom and makes things uncomfortable if things don't go his way. If you don't agree with him...you're wrong. Period.

If I know them so well...how come they don't know me? I just don't get it. Oh well.

I think I'll take a break before going back up there. Probably wait until Thanksgiving - depending on the holiday schedule at work. :-)

So now, there are things I need to do before work tomorrow...
1. hem my new suit pants
2. shorten the straps on a few of my tanks/shells
3. figure out lunch for tomorrow - in case it's only 30 minutes
4. clean my living room
5. clean the kitchen
6. clean the bathroom

I really need to organize my house. I'm extremely organized at work and extremely NOT at home. I'll work on that.