'Tis the Season?

Once again, if you just want to check the rest of what I ate yesterday, scroll down to the ~.

Gotta say, I'm glad the Christmas season is over. I'm not a grinch, and I love the holiday season. I love shopping for gifts. I hate the traffic and crowds. I love the carols. I'm just getting tired of feeling like you have to do certain things for certain people around this time of year when you don't feel that close to them the other 364 days of the year. I don't get it. And what's up with the guilt about it all?

I can't help it that I don't feel that close to my family. If you need reasons for this, check out all my blogs regarding "family crap" (that'll explain a lot if not everything). It's just that certain members of my biological* family have ways of making me feel as though I am a terrible person for doing things or not doing things when they've treated me like crap all year (or made me feel like crap all year). So, yeah, I don't necessarily feel in the Christmas spirit when it comes to shopping for some of these people. I feel as though everything is being judged (what I got them, what I failed to get them). It's a never ending cycle that I just don't feel comfortable with.

Each year, I put a lot of effort, thought, and time into picking gifts that each person would love for people that don't know me well enough to know that I no longer collect music boxes or that I hate when other people pick my clothes because their style is nothing like mine or clothes just don't fit while I'm fat.

This year, money was tight because I haven't been working (I have an interview Monday - woohoo! I really want this job). We only spent about $30 on each person. It isn't that we didn't want to spend more on each person, but we didn't want to go further into debt when we're pretty close to our limits on credit cards as it is. Luckily, H just got a bonus that we put as extra payments on the cards (thankfully, we're down to 2).

Anyway, so that's my rant about the Christmas season. Glad it's over. Looking forward to this New Year. Hope it's great for everyone.

*I'm starting to realize that those you're related to are family, but those you choose to be close to are your family as well. H and I have friends and family (yes, some we're related to) that we're extremely close to and would do anything for and feel close to all year long. To us, these people are our family. We chose these people to be close to because of 1) their values, 2) their views, 3) the kind of people we are when we're around them, or 4) the kind of people they are period.
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update on my eating list since I posted it yesterday after lunch instead of waiting until to day for the complete list

Food:
1 pork chop
¾ cup jasmine rice
1 fruit popsicle (30 cals)
Split a large diet coke with ice and topped off with Dr. Pepper (we went and saw Happy Feet last night)

Water:
17 oz water