Oh well

I talked to mom yesterday and let her know about my interview. I mentioned that things were pretty tight and that it would be nice to be able to pay off our bills and have money to purchase real gifts for family at Christmas. This year, we sent tubs of popcorn to my parents, H's parents, and to G and his family. We sent $25 gift cards to G and M to pick stuff out for their kids (which we do every year so we don't have to pay shipping. The kids get more for the money, and we have no idea what kind of things they like). We also got things for K and the little baby living with them, but we had those for months. Mom spouted that, "yeah, it's embarrassing when someone asks 'what did your daughter get you?' and you have to tell them popcorn." WHATEVER. I don't even know who would ask her that, and I really don't care. Everyone in our family knows I don't have a job right now. Just because we aren't asking people for money (like G does on a consistent basis) doesn't mean that our wallets aren't extremely tight right now. We just prefer to help ourselves out of our problems instead of boohooing on other's shoulders and asking for handouts. Mom can never be happy and content with what they get. She always wants something better or more. I'm not going to let her make me feel bad. We wanted to do something for them, but without me having a job, we did what we could.

This is what I was talking about a few days ago when I said I'm tired of being made to feel guilty when buying gifts for people on one day of the year when you don't feel close to them the other 364. So, I guess the gift card G got her was so much better than popcorn. Guess what she's getting from me next year - that's right, a gift card. :-)

You know, I'm not really pissed. I kind of expected it. I know how she is. I'm just disappointed in her and her reaction. Everything always has to be about her. She never once thinks what her actions or reactions are doing to others nor does she happen to take into account that we are a one income family right now with two huge credit card debts (due to H's first two years at college) and two huge student loans (my first payment starts next month). Thankfully, we've been paying on H's since 2001, so his isn't too bad; but with mine, we knew about student loans from the beginning instead of having to put school on a credit card like we did with H, so my student loan is double what his is - meaning my payment each month should also be about double what his is. Looking forward to next month...NOT!

Whatever. I hope she likes her gift card next year. I heard from my grandma that she went over the moon over the card from G. You know I'm gonna send one next year from the same store. I'm not stupid. I know she won't react the same way to mine as she did from his, but that's ok. I can live with it especially since hearing her talk yesterday really didn't bother me all that much. I haven't even told H about it yet, so I know I'm taking this extremely well. Yeah for me.